"Something" from Nothing

Punny titles aside, this post is a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment in the making. For those unfamiliar with the term, "Big-Lipped Alligator Moment" or "BLAM" is a term coined by Lindsay Ellis, the "Nostalgia Chick", in the Critic/Chick review of Ferngully. It describes any sequence in fiction that comes completely out of nowhere with little warning, has little if any relevance to the plot, and, once finished, is never spoken of again. Which is how this blog consisting mostly of political musings, song parodies, and Pokémon battles is now going to bear witness to a satire of encoded "predictions" in various works ranging from the Bible to the works of Nostradamus. Why? Because I feel like it, that's why.

(And before anyone points out that this process of foreshadowing has prevented this post from being a true BLAM, remember that my taxes pay your salary. Or my contributions to the market economy contribute to your salary. Or the market economy in general creates the conditions for your job to exist. Or some other logical construct that implies a vague sense of responsibility to me.)

Presenting: How the Beatles song "Drive My Car", released in 1965, accurately predicted the election of Barack Obama as President of the United States in 2008, as conceived of in real-time during an MSN conversation.

First off, we need to understand the premises of the song. The singer is Obama himself, while the girl he is singing about is a personification of the American people. Now for the lyrical analysis.

     Asked a girl what she wanted to be
This is straightforward. Anyone running for President needs to find out what the people want.
     She said, Baby, can't you see?
     I wanna be famous, a star of the screen
America wants to rebuild its tarnished reputation and reclaim its place as a "star" among nations.
     But you can do something in between
This line is a recognition that the American people as a whole will always be greater than a single man (or woman), but also that the President still has a special role to play.

     Baby, you can drive my car
The voters give their permission for Obama to sit in the metaphorical "driver's seat" of the country.
     Yes, I'm gonna be a star
The people of the United States look forward to their global reputation's renaissance.
     Baby, you can drive my car
     And maybe I'll love you
The latter line clearly predicts the "Barackmania" that swept the US and the world in the wake of his election.

     I told that girl that my prospects were good
Obama already had successful careers as a lawyer and local politician, as well as a loving family, and didn't need the Presidency to be happy.
     And she said, Baby, it's understood
     Working for peanuts is all very fine
     But I can show you a better time
The American people, however, had a greater purpose in mind for him than simple personal success.

     Baby, you can drive my car
     Yes, I'm gonna be a star
     Baby, you can drive my car
     And maybe I'll love you
I've already dealt with this.
     Beep beep mm beep beep, yeah
A censor-friendly dramatization of Republicans' reactions to Obama's election.

     Baby, you can drive my car
     Yes, I'm gonna be a star
     Baby, you can drive my car
     And maybe I'll love you
The people who voted Democrat outnumber the naysayers, so this extra repeated chorus is here to drown them out.

     I told that girl I could start right away
This is Obama giving his acceptance speech and vowing to get down to business fulfilling his promises.
     When she said, Listen, baby, I got something to say
     I got no car and it's breaking my heart
The legacy of George W. Bush's presidency and the looming global recession have left the US in shambles compared to previous decades, and must be rebuilt from the ground up.
     But I've found a driver and that's a start
The American people trust Obama to be capable of succeeding in this task.

     Baby, you can drive my car
     Yes, I'm gonna be a star
     Baby, you can drive my car
     And maybe I'll love you
     Beep-beep mm beep-beep, yeah
     Beep-beep mm beep-beep, yeah
     Beep-beep mm beep-beep, yeah
     Beep-beep mm beep-beep, yeah
     Beep-beep mm beep-beep, yeah
The extra Republican swearing at the end is a bonus prediction, namely about the rise of Fox News.


There. I hope that made some modicum of sense. Special thanks to the TV Tropes page "You Fail Logic Forever", specifically the section on the Sharpshooter Fallacy, for inspiring this burst of creativity. Stay tuned at some undefined point in the future for when I prove that Elton John's song "Philadelphia Freedom" predicted the invention of low-fat cream cheese.